Smut University—Well Hello There: an Introduction to Anal by @Tkegl

Well Hello There: an Introduction to Anal by Tkegl

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A/N: Thanks to tiffanyanne3 for pulling beta duty on this bad boy . . . and to starrycreationsevery9seconds, and slashydrunkard for lending their buttsecks expertise as prereaders.

Homework:

Ass-ignment (hee hee): Take a shot at writing a scene involving some anal action. Now, it doesn’t have to be full-blown penetration . . . just something involving a little anal play. Get creative and have fun!

Read the Submissions


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It’s forbidden . . . taboo . . . yet somehow that’s what also makes it rather alluring. Maybe you love to read (or write) about it . . . or maybe you read it, but only in a very dark closet, supplied well with chocolate and red wine.

No. I’m not speaking from personal experience. At all.

When it comes to writing about a little racy rear-entry, there can be a fine line between Oh-So-Hot and Oh-My-God-NO! Now, it’s important to point out that this article is not a how-to for how to have anal sex. It’s about how to write anal sex. There’s a big difference. Because let’s face it, when it comes to anal, there’s some shit (heh!) we just don’t want to read about.

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Case in point, a story a Twitter friend once told me about a friend who wanted to do a little exploration of the back door variety. Before things got started, her boyfriend ran to the bathroom to get a roll of toilet paper, saying he didn’t want to have to change the sheets afterwards.

Yeah. Not sexy.

She did a lot of research on her own before she approached the topic again – with a different boyfriend, I might add.

So, keep in mind that complete realism isn’t necessarily the goal . . . eroticism is.

And with that, let’s take a look at the Five Steps to Red Hot Buttsecks.

1. BUILD UP TO A CLIMAX

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It seems like a no-brainer – you want to start off slow. But I’m not just talking about kissing first, then touching, then Edward slips his hand around to Bella’s ass. Yes, you want a scene to build, but when you’re talking about introducing anal into your story, you want the idea to build through your narrative as well. If your character has never done it before, you’ll need to start slowly. Maybe in chapter five, Edward just touches her briefly there, sparking a little curiosity . . .

Quote:
 
I’d never been interested in anal sex, and God knows, Edward and I had never talked about going there before, but I had to admit, that little touch made me wonder if there might be more to it than I thought.Late at night, I found myself thinking about what it would be like for Edward to do . . . more . . . there.

And maybe in chapter seven, Bella decides do to a little more herself.

As I stroked myself, my hips surging up to greet my working fingers, my mind flashed to that forbidden zone I’d still yet to revisit with Edward. Unable to control myself, my other hand slipped from my breast, easing down my stomach and stalling for a moment next to my other one.

Could I really do it?

Unable to resist, my fingers continued their journey south, gathering my wetness along the way. Then, with one tentative finger, I prodded my entrance, holding my breath, then exhaling heavily. With my eyes clenched shut, I circled my tender flesh, pressing gently as I continued to manipulate my clit with my other hand. Biting my lip, I rolled my clit between my thumb and forefinger, jerking slightly at the shock that shot through my body . . . and took the plunge, slipping the tip of one finger in . . . just barely.

It was enough . . .

So now, Bella’s curious, and maybe ready to explore a little more. No’s the time to bring up the conversation with Edward. Maybe they both do some research online (or at the library? Good opportunity for some between the stacks sexin’ when they get all worked up) . . . maybe they do a little shopping for supplies (another fun scene opportunity at a sex shop, or visiting various Web sites) . . . there are a lot of chances to build up the sexual tension here – and it will only make the final act that much hotter.

Even if you’re writing a one-shot, you can use the “build up” step – it just happens more in the back story.

Quote:
 
“I want to take you here,” Edward said, pressing a finger between my cheeks.I gasped. We’d talked about it before . . . I’d even explored a little on my own . . . but the thought of doing it here and now was a little frightening.

And a whole lot hot.

I arched back against his finger, only able to say one word.

“Yes.”

The point is that anal takes some preparation ahead of time. It’s not like vanilla sex where your characters can just duck into a closet and do the deed. The key is to make that build up just as sexy as the actual act.

2. FACTS vs. FANTASY

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When it comes to anal sex, it can be a delicate balance between making a scene believable and keeping it erotic. It’s important to acknowledge that going in the back entrance can be painful without the right preparation and patience. At the same time, you don’t want to get so bogged down by the technical side that you lose the romance.

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Case in point: Poo. It’s there. It goes with the territory. But nobody wants to read about it. It’s kind of like farts – everybody does it, but why would anyone ever write about it?

The same thing goes for pain. The reality is that for many people, anal sex hurts – and they don’t like it at all. It takes patience and a lot of lube to really make it enjoyable for some people . . . and some try it once and say they’ll never go there again.

But if you’re writing a scene, you want it to be hot, right? That means minimizing the ick factor, even if that makes your story not quite factual. So you might need to gloss over some of the more unattractive parts of doing the deed.

But hey, if you’re committed to being 100% accurate and want to tackle anal douches and enemas and pain and farts – more power to you!

*shudders*

If not, you might try something like this:

Quote:
 
The burning ache took my breath away, and for a moment, I considered telling him to stop . . . to pull out . . . that I’d changed my mind and I didn’t want to do it anymore.He stilled and reassured me with sweet words and loving touches . . . massaging my back . . . kissing my neck . . . stroking my tender flesh until I shuddered in response.

And when he pulled out slowly before sliding just as slowly back in, I realized the pain was manageable . . . almost unnoticeable.

And when he did it again, a shivering tingle raced through me, and I recognized it as pleasure.

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One other note: Anal is different for men and women. Remember, men have a prostate, which can be stimulated by anal penetration. This is very pleasurable. (At least I’m told this by those who have one. I don’t, so I have to take their word for it!) Women lack this, but still have a lot of sensitive nerve endings in the area, so anal play can be pleasurable for them as well – it’s just not quite the same.

3. LOVE THE LUBE

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This is a biggie: Never forget the lube.

No, spit isn’t enough . . . neither is vaginal lubricant if you’re talking about putting in anything bigger than a finger. It’s hard to get caught up reading a scene when you’re wondering if Jasper is getting rubbed raw. (Poor guy!) The butthole does not produce its own lubricant, so it’s important to help the process along with a little slippery goodness.

That said, preparation is also important. Unless your couple does the back-door deed a lot, there’s some stretching that’ll need to be done before a peen can be introduced – but hey, that can be sexy too. Consider this example from Just Like Chocolate by FarDareisMai2 (it’s slash, but the concept works for any pairing.)

Quote:
 
He climbed down off the table and walked away for a moment. When he returned, I saw the foil packet in his hand and watched as he tore it open and rolled the condom on. He reached down to the shelf below the table and grabbed a bottle of vegetable oil. He raised an eyebrow at me, daring me to say something, but what did I care what he used? I just wanted him inside me. He poured some on his fingers and coated himself with it, before climbing back on the table. He leaned forward and kissed me again, and I felt his hand slide down between my legs, his well oiled fingers caressing my perineum, before he slid one into me and began to fuck me gently with it. After a minute, he added another, making sure I was well lubricated and stretching me, all the while kissing me and whispering, “I can’t wait until I’m inside you, gorgeous.”He sat back between my legs and lifted me by the hips. I wrapped my legs around him, pulling him towards me. He guided himself to my entrance, and looking at me once more to make sure I was okay, he slowly pushed in until just the tip slipped into me.

“Is this okay?” he asked, and I could hear the strain in his voice as he fought his desire to drive into me.

“Oh fuck yes,” I growled, and used my heels to pull him closer, push him further into me. He grabbed my hips, stilling my movements, forcing us to go slow and driving me completely insane with want and need. In and out, slowly, slowly, each time pushing a little further until finally, he was sheathed all the way inside of me. I’d never felt more complete.

Now, when I asked FarDareisMai2 to use this passage, she told me that she’s since learned that it’s not advisable to use vegetable oil with latex. But the point stands – it’s still hot!

4. NO DOUBLE DIPPING

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Well, this should go without saying, but sometimes when you’re caught up in the moment and the words are flowing freely, you might not notice that Edward has gone from dipping his wick in the Great Behind . . . to dipping it somewhere else . . .

Like Bella’s hoo-hah . . .

Or Jasper’s mouth . . .

Yeah. Uck . . . probably the grossest thing ever, and completely ruins the mood. Even I, who am not a habitual flouncer, have left stories for this very reason.

It’s just gross.

So what do you do when you’re deep into a hot and heavy, multiple-position sex fest and it’s time to switch things up?

You have to do some cleanup first. The peen must be pristine before going near any other orifice. But don’t worry – there are ways to do this that won’t ruin the mood. Basically, you have two options: quick and dirty (or, errr . . . clean, I guess) . . . or slow and sexy.

  • Option 1: Edward pulled out abruptly, making me gasp at the sensation. I glanced over my shoulder at him in dazed lust . . . mixed with aggravation.”Why did you stop?” I asked.

    He reached for the damp towel we kept near the bed, stroking himself clean as his eyes burned into me. Tossing aside the towel, he flipped me onto my back.

    “It was too much . . . too fast,” he grunted, plunging into my pussy in one harsh thrust. “I need this to last.”

  • Option 2: Edward pulled out abruptly, making me gasp at the sensation. I glanced over my shoulder at him in dazed lust . . . mixed with aggravation.”Why did you stop?” I asked.

    He grinned, sweeping me up into a hot, dizzying kiss.

    “It was too much . . . too fast,” he murmured against my lips. “I want this to last.” He took my hand to pull me to my feet, backing toward the bathroom. “How about a shower?” he asked, a wicked smile heating my blood yet again.

. . . and this opens a world of possibilities for washing each other . . . some hot shower or bathtub sex . . . maybe falling out onto the bathroom floor or climbing onto the counter and taking things a little bit dirtier. Cleaning up becomes part of the fun!

Note: This also applies to condoms. Remember: After butt love, change the glove. ☺

5. WATCH YOUR LANGUAGE

No, I’m not talking about cursing. That’s up to you. But you probably want to watch out for some words that will take the sexy right out of your sex scene. Namely, clinical terms like “anus” and “rectum.”

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I mean, come on. Rectum is just not hot. This calls for some creativity because, let’s face it, there aren’t a lot of ways to describe the brown hole that will get you all hot and bothered. There’s “puckered hole” and “rosebud” and “forbidden entrance,” but I think the best option is often to leave things a little vague . . .

Quote:
 
I clutched the sheets as I bent over the bed, Edward gripping my hips firmly as his lubed cock slid against my ass. He thrusted slowly, back and forth, over and over . . . his hands moving to stroke and squeeze my round flesh, massaging it . . . parting it slightly so he could slide between my cheeks.”God, that feels so good,” he murmured.

The heat built, curling into a twist of want centered deep within me. The time he’d spent preparing me had me aching and wanting . . . needing more . . . needing him to finally fill me.

“Edward . . . now . . . please . . .” I begged, my voice barely audible over the thickness in my throat.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes . . . please. I want you . . . now.”

And with a slight shift he entered me in one slow, delicious thrust. The burn forced a gasp from my lips and Edward froze.

“Are you okay?”

“Yes . . .” I shifted slightly, willing myself to relax and accept him. After a few deep breaths, I felt my muscles stretch to accommodate Edward’s thickness, and when I moved again, the gasp was one of pleasure.

See? No squicky words to interrupt the hotness!

SO, TO RECAP . . .

1. Take it Slow
2. Minimize the Icky Stuff
3. Lube, Lube, Lube
4. Prepare Before Penetration
5. No Double Dipping
6. Anus+Rectum=Not Sexy

Remember, turnabout is fair play. It can be fun for the “giver” to become the “taker” when driving the Hershey Highway. Maybe Bella gets a little feisty and convinces Edward to try a little toy action. Or Jasper decides to give topping a try and show Carlisle what all the fuss is about. These tips can work with slash or het – and even femmeslash – just get a little creative and mix things up.

One more disclaimer – all of this is just my opinion. It’s what I find hot when reading and writing about doing the deed back-door style. Maybe something else works for you, and if so – have at it! One of my prereaders (not saying who) says that some people find double-dipping hot and kinky . . . so if that’s your thing, go for it!

Like most rules, there are a million exceptions. Humor is a big one that always breaks the rules. I recently read a hilarious fic called Parental Discretion is Advised, where Edward accidentally entered the wrong hole . . . lube-free! (Ouch! But funny!) And if your characters go down this road all the time, they probably don’t need to spend as much time on preparation. I also didn’t address rimming, which is a whole other topic (and should only happen after a shower, in my humble opinion)!

Just keep in mind that writing anal sex is a lot like writing any other kind of sex – to keep it hot, focus on the feelings more than the physical descriptions.

Oh, and did I mention, don’t forget the lube?

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