Smut University – Dirty Talk

Written by Lulu M

Writing Exercise

His hands were everywhere. His teeth lips nibbling at every uncovered surface on my body. I was so turned on. His lips met mine again, before he pulled back. His eyes meeting mine. I couldn’t help myself.

“Talk dirty to me, babe.”

His eyes widened. “Um…Okay…”

There was a new tension to his body. He seemed to have stiffened all the way from his head to his toes. He hand trailing down my naked torso felt like marble. “I’m…um…going to…can I say fuck?”

“Uh…Yea, babe.”

“Well then, I’m going to fuck you so hard you won’t even be able to…walk…tomorrow…” He grimaced. “And I don’t mean that in a bad way. It’s going to be good. I just…”

“Babe…”

“Ok…uh…My…penis…is so hard…for you. I’m going to stick it into your vagina now…”

Gah! Dirty talk! Not only is it an uncomfortable thing to say, it it also an uncomfortable thing to write. I blush just thinking about saying it. Hell, I blush just reading it. Most of the time, I can’t help but think it’s…cheesy. Well, time to get over that. Although all Dirty Talk is cheesy, and that’s just something we’ll have to get over, it can also be very, very sexy.

Let’s start off with a video today: How to Talk Dirty in Bed Without Feeling Stupid

Time Required – an infinite amount of time. Dirty Talk isn’t just something you can pick up immediately, especially if you’re still a bit shy about writing smut overall. But remember, practice makes perfect.

1. Be Authentic – We all have perceived notion on what Dirty Talk is. The thing is, we need to make it our own. Though perhaps doing a bit of Dirty Talk isn’t necessarily “us” we can’t completely take ourselves out of the equation. Don’t forget who your characters. If your character is an innocent, it’s a good chance Dirty Talk isn’t going to be their forte.

2. Find the Dirty Talk Voice – How is your character going to talk when Dirty Talking? Are they going to pull an “Edward” and have low, russet tones? Or a “Victoria” and have a high pitched, squealing tone? Remember your character. What is sexy for them. Are they moaners? Are they quiet lovers? Bring out who they are in bed, and find a Dirty Talk Voice for them.

3. Expand your Vocabularily – If you are like me, swearing is like a no-no. That’s how you were raised. I’ve gotten better over the last couple of years, but just saying words like “fuck” or “cock” feel weird. Know your boundaries. Don’t push yourself to hard or to fast, that you are so uncomfortable with what you are writing. You need that security, or you uncomfort will be felt in your writing. Which is a big turn off for readers. However, do try to avoid saying clinical terms, unless if the characters are role playing.

4. Practice Dirty Talk – Practice both saying it out aloud and writing it down. Go crazy in your writing. Sometimes just write with the notion of never letting anyone see it. Let it all out, until it feels almost natural for you.

5. How to Start Out – Start out slow like having your character explain how they feel or what they love. “I love how your hands feel on my tits.” Describe what’s happening. “You nipples look so sexy all puckered up like that.” And then progress to your character saying what they’re going to do or what they want done to them. “I want that huge cock of yours inside of me now.”

It will feel uncomfortable, it will sound cheesy, and for some people, Dirty Talk isn’t even sexy. But know what you want. What you want to accomplish. And if you are happy with the results, let it be.

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